You Should Absolutely Never Go to Disneyland

千萬別去迪士尼！

Disneyland is not at all what you think, trust us. Here are reasons you really shouldn't go. You've been warned.

相信我們，迪士尼樂園根本就不是你想的那樣。下面是千萬別去迪士尼的理由，我們可是警告過你了哦。

The mint juleps taste way too good. You'll be depressed by the taste of all other juleps.

薄荷朱利酒真的太好喝了。所以其它朱利酒都會讓你感到失望。

Your neck will hurt from constantly looking up at all the grand attractions. Geez, can there not be so many architectural wonders?

不斷地抬頭看著名建筑，會脖子疼。老天，能不能少來點建筑美景？

There are balloons everywhere. What's with all the pretty balloons? Like, WTF.

到處都是氣球。要這些好看的氣球有什么用呢？搞什么？

The park is always springing surprises on you. Sometimes you might not feel like being surprised with confetti and joy.

樂園里都是驚喜。但有時候全都是彩紙和歡樂聲，你反而覺得沒那么驚喜了。

The characters are TOO nice. Why are they being so polite and obliging?

卡通人物太好了！為什么他們總是如此彬彬有禮、樂于助人呢？

There are too many photo opportunities. Your phone will run out of storage within, like, five minutes. Great.

你想拍的照片太多了。比如，五分鐘后，你的手機就沒有內存了，太棒了！

Everyone who enters is happy ALL THE TIME. Why?! Why is there so much positivity and happiness?

迪士尼里面每個人都很開心，一直笑容滿面。為什么？為什么這么正能量，充滿歡樂呢？

The mouse ear choices are so cute it might make you sick. Like, how the freak are you supposed to choose just one? Not possible.

有各種各樣的老鼠耳朵，可愛到會讓你感到不舒服。比如說，如果你只選了一只耳朵，別人都會以為你是變態的。太不可能了！

The It's a Small World ride will make you feel like a giant. The world will feel, like, so big.

迪士尼的小小世界項目會讓你感覺自己是個巨人。你會感覺這個世界十分巨大。

The weather almost never changes - it's basically nice all the time. Can we get some storms every once in a while?

天氣基本都是一樣的--基本上一直是晴天。能不能偶爾來點暴風雨呢？

There are so many rides to go on. Sometimes all the options can really stress a person out.

有太多的項目了。有時候游玩項目太多會讓人倍感壓力的。

There's a statue of Walt Disney that will make you cry. Curse you, Disney, why make us cry?!

華特·迪士尼的雕像會讓你潸然淚下。迪士尼，我詛咒你，你為什么要讓我這么感動？！

Apparently the place is . . . Yikes.

很顯然，這個地方太……太棒了！

You have to go to a whole other place called California Adventure too. So much work.

玩過迪士尼之后，你還要去玩另一個叫做加州冒險的游樂場。太累了。

You always feel obligated to go on the roller coasters. Because people say they're incredibly fun and stuff so you have to be polite, of course.

你總覺得自己有義務玩過山車。因為其他人說過山車很好玩，作為禮貌的回應，你必須玩一把。

The Dole Whips are chronically addicting. It's a problem; there should probably be Dole Whips Anonymous meetings.

多爾冰淇淋會讓人上癮的。這是個問題；應該有多爾冰淇淋匿名互戒協會。

There are too many frozen treats to choose from. Choices, gah, too many choices.

有太多冷凍食品可以選擇了。額，選擇，太多選擇了。

The rides will cause uncontrollable screams of bliss and an intense adrenaline rush. Can you handle losing control? Not everyone can.

游樂項目會讓你幸福地失控尖叫，而且腎上腺素也會激增。你能控制自己不失態嗎？可不是每個人都能哦。

You Should Absolutely Never Go to Disneyland

千萬別去迪士尼！

Disneyland is not at all what you think, trust us. Here are reasons you really shouldn't go. You've been warned.

相信我們，迪士尼樂園根本就不是你想的那樣。下面是千萬別去迪士尼的理由，我們可是警告過你了哦。

The mint juleps taste way too good. You'll be depressed by the taste of all other juleps.

薄荷朱利酒真的太好喝了。所以其它朱利酒都會讓你感到失望。

Your neck will hurt from constantly looking up at all the grand attractions. Geez, can there not be so many architectural wonders?

不斷地抬頭看著名建筑，會脖子疼。老天，能不能少來點建筑美景？

There are balloons everywhere. What's with all the pretty balloons? Like, WTF.

到處都是氣球。要這些好看的氣球有什么用呢？搞什么？

The park is always springing surprises on you. Sometimes you might not feel like being surprised with confetti and joy.

樂園里都是驚喜。但有時候全都是彩紙和歡樂聲，你反而覺得沒那么驚喜了。

The characters are TOO nice. Why are they being so polite and obliging?

卡通人物太好了！為什么他們總是如此彬彬有禮、樂于助人呢？

There are too many photo opportunities. Your phone will run out of storage within, like, five minutes. Great.

你想拍的照片太多了。比如，五分鐘后，你的手機就沒有內存了，太棒了！

Everyone who enters is happy ALL THE TIME. Why?! Why is there so much positivity and happiness?

迪士尼里面每個人都很開心，一直笑容滿面。為什么？為什么這么正能量，充滿歡樂呢？

The mouse ear choices are so cute it might make you sick. Like, how the freak are you supposed to choose just one? Not possible.

有各種各樣的老鼠耳朵，可愛到會讓你感到不舒服。比如說，如果你只選了一只耳朵，別人都會以為你是變態的。太不可能了！

The It's a Small World ride will make you feel like a giant. The world will feel, like, so big.

迪士尼的小小世界項目會讓你感覺自己是個巨人。你會感覺這個世界十分巨大。

The weather almost never changes - it's basically nice all the time. Can we get some storms every once in a while?

天氣基本都是一樣的--基本上一直是晴天。能不能偶爾來點暴風雨呢？

There are so many rides to go on. Sometimes all the options can really stress a person out.

有太多的項目了。有時候游玩項目太多會讓人倍感壓力的。

There's a statue of Walt Disney that will make you cry. Curse you, Disney, why make us cry?!

華特·迪士尼的雕像會讓你潸然淚下。迪士尼，我詛咒你，你為什么要讓我這么感動？！

Apparently the place is . . . Yikes.

很顯然，這個地方太……太棒了！

You have to go to a whole other place called California Adventure too. So much work.

玩過迪士尼之后，你還要去玩另一個叫做加州冒險的游樂場。太累了。

You always feel obligated to go on the roller coasters. Because people say they're incredibly fun and stuff so you have to be polite, of course.

你總覺得自己有義務玩過山車。因為其他人說過山車很好玩，作為禮貌的回應，你必須玩一把。

The Dole Whips are chronically addicting. It's a problem; there should probably be Dole Whips Anonymous meetings.

多爾冰淇淋會讓人上癮的。這是個問題；應該有多爾冰淇淋匿名互戒協會。

There are too many frozen treats to choose from. Choices, gah, too many choices.

有太多冷凍食品可以選擇了。額，選擇，太多選擇了。

The rides will cause uncontrollable screams of bliss and an intense adrenaline rush. Can you handle losing control? Not everyone can.

游樂項目會讓你幸福地失控尖叫，而且腎上腺素也會激增。你能控制自己不失態嗎？可不是每個人都能哦。